At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
