Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
