He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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