Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
