this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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