A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
