So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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