But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
