Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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