I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
