i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
