Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
