I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want to make out with him forever
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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