whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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