that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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