She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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