He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
