she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
