Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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