I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
