he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it's great music for shaving your balls
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
