I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need a sexual gate keeper
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
