He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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