So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
