Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
