1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
