I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
