I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
