Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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