I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
