I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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