By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
