Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
