She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she looked like the before picture.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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