Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
