Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
