Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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