operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
