We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
