Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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