I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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