I can't watch pbs sober anymore
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
