Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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