watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just gargled with NyQuil
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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