She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
