I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
