i don't like sucking hair
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
