There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
