I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
