shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
