You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
