so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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