I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
